The Page Of Puns» bartender

A Bear

The Pun Master — Thu, 10 May 2012 23:29:59 +0000

So this bear walks into a bar and sits down at the bar to survey the scene. There’s a rather good looking woman at the end of the bar, a couple of typical drunks in the corner, and a rather somber bartender behind the bar.

The bear says to the bartender, “May I please have a beer.”

The bartender says, “I’m very sorry, but I don’t serve bears beers in this here bar.”

The bear responds, “But, that’s discrimination! I want a beer!”

The bartender once again intones, “I don’t really care what it is, I do not serve bears beers in this here bar.”

So the bear looks around again and his gaze lingers on the woman at the end of the bar. He turns to the bartender and says, “If you don’t give me a beer, I’m going to eat that customer of yours down there.”

The bartender replies, “It doesn’t matter what you do, I do not serve bears beers in this here bar.”

So, the bear saunters over to the end of the bar and eats the woman in three huge bites. Satisfied with his snack, he returns to the bartender and says, “So, what do you say! Will you give me a beer now?”

The bartender looks at the bear and says, “Well, I don’t serve bears beers in this here bar, and I most certainly do not serve drug addicts!”

The bear looks in disbelief and exclaims, “What are you talking about?”

The bartender replies, “That was a Bar-Bitch-You-Ate.”

A Guy with a Giraffe

The Pun Master — Wed, 09 May 2012 22:54:43 +0000

So this guy walks into a bar with his 10 foot tall giraffe. Despite the strange stares from the other bar occupants, they proceed to drink themselves silly. After about a dozen drinks, the giraffe stands up and then keels over. At this his companion stands up as well, settles his bar bill and starts to walk out of the bar. The bartender shouts, “Hey idiot, you can’t leave that lyin’ here!”

But the man replies, “You’re the idiot, that’s a giraffe, not a lion!”

A Neutron

The Pun Master — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 08:04:32 +0000

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”

A String

The Pun Master — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 04:12:44 +0000

So this string walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender says, “We don’t serve strings here.”

The string goes outside, ties himself up, roughs up his head and goes back in the bar and orders a drink. The bartender says “Hey, aren’t you the same string who was just in here??”

The string answers “No, I’m a frayed knot”