The Page Of Puns|The Pun Starts Here! He he he!

So this lawyer walks into a bar and asks, “Is this where I take the exam?”

So this doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazlenut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!”

“No, I’m sorry”, replied the bartender,”it’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.”

So this guy walks into a bar with his 10 foot tall giraffe. Despite the strange stares from the other bar occupants, they proceed to drink themselves silly. After about a dozen drinks, the giraffe stands up and then keels over. At this his companion stands up as well, settles his bar bill and starts to walk out of the bar. The bartender shouts, “Hey idiot, you can’t leave that lyin’ here!”

But the man replies, “You’re the idiot, that’s a giraffe, not a lion!”

So this bear walks into a bar and sits down at the bar to survey the scene. There’s a rather good looking woman at the end of the bar, a couple of typical drunks in the corner, and a rather somber bartender behind the bar.

The bear says to the bartender, “May I please have a beer.”

The bartender says, “I’m very sorry, but I don’t serve bears beers in this here bar.”

The bear responds, “But, that’s discrimination! I want a beer!”

The bartender once again intones, “I don’t really care what it is, I do not serve bears beers in this here bar.”

So the bear looks around again and his gaze lingers on the woman at the end of the bar. He turns to the bartender and says, “If you don’t give me a beer, I’m going to eat that customer of yours down there.”

The bartender replies, “It doesn’t matter what you do, I do not serve bears beers in this here bar.”

So, the bear saunters over to the end of the bar and eats the woman in three huge bites. Satisfied with his snack, he returns to the bartender and says, “So, what do you say! Will you give me a beer now?”

The bartender looks at the bear and says, “Well, I don’t serve bears beers in this here bar, and I most certainly do not serve drug addicts!”

The bear looks in disbelief and exclaims, “What are you talking about?”

The bartender replies, “That was a Bar-Bitch-You-Ate.”